“We need to talk.” The most dreaded sentence a husband can hear. All men know instinctively that nothing good comes after these words. Our reaction is coded in our DNA through thousands of years of ancestral memory.
The irony is, we really do need to talk. Often. Attentively. Deeply.
To create and sustain a super strong marriage, couples need to communicate well. Not just about logistics, but about their needs, dreams, and yes, their feelings.
Talking about ourselves, how we feel about what’s going on in the world, (what’s going on in the house for that matter) about our dreams, our regrets, our favourite movie, about anything really, with our spouses is how we build those love maps. The bigger the love map, the bigger the relationship can grow.
However, many couples can barely find the time to say hello to each other throughout the day, let alone have a meaningful conversation about anything. What to do?
The answer is surprisingly simple. Make time. It’s important.
I can feel the eye rolls from here. “How do we make time? Our schedules are already full.”
My solution, do things together as much as possible and talk then.
Find times when you are together anyway (if you aren’t already in the same place for at least a half hour every day, take a hard look at your schedules, something needs to change.) and spend that time talking to each other.
Vanessa and I love to take car trips together for instance. It gives us time to really get into a topic while we drive. Over the years the conversations we’ve had in the car have been the catalyst for some of the biggest decisions we’ve made as a couple.
Make it your goal to spend at least 15 minutes a day just talking and you’ll be amazed at how quickly you grow together.